A few months ago, one of our favorite online retailers was having a sale on ties. Great fabrics. Great prices. There was only one problem: The ties were 2 inches wide, more than an inch too narrow to ever consider wearing around our necks.

In an extremely competitive tie economy, when there are plenty of correctly sized ties to go around — see ours, for example — the future of these malnourished and outdated specimens did not look good. Then, inspiration hit us. Instead of simply giving up on these ties, consigning them to food stamps and curbside crowd-funding, why not re-engineer them to live productive, autonomous, fulfilling lives as belts?

So that's what we did. We bought up the lot from the online retailer. We contracted the services of a New York City beltmaker, who deftly outfitted these ties with brass d-ring buckles and an Italian leather tab. We updated their LinkedIn profiles with new titles, and now these former ties are officially ready for their new careers. Please meet "Joseph Kandell: Results-oriented Waist Management Professional."

Can any man can wrap a pretty silk necktie around his waist and get away with it? No. Even with the wool ones, like Mr. Kandell, the degree of difficulty is high. In fact, we figure maybe one in a thousand can wear these things successfully. But if that's you, take note, because supplies are limited. In fact, Johnny Depp or Jack White could probably exhaust them all in one fell swoop. So if you want one, order sooner rather than later.

Details

• One size
• Tie: 100% wool; Italy
• Tab: leather; Italy
• Buckle: solid brass
• Width: 2" at widest point
• Length: 48"
• Made in USA