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Minimum Viable Wallet — Horween Chromexcel Black

$25.00

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(International order? Click here.)


CHOOSE EXACTLY 3 STRAPS:

(Also available in Horween Chromexcel Brown and Horween Latigo Rio)

Could we make an even simpler wallet than the one you see here? Yes. Would it still be useful? No. Using a complex set of secret proprietary algorithms, we've determined exactly how much wallet a man with a large line of credit and an enduring desire to occasionally brush his fingertips against a few real bills needs to function in the current moment. What we've arrived at: The Minimum Viable Wallet (MVW).

To make the MVW, we affix a tiny elastic strap to a single folded piece of Horween leather with two brass clips. This makes the straps easy to switch, so you can customize your MVW as the situation warrants. Going to the game? Then you'll need the Lambeau Pride strap. Meeting with Moroccan arms dealers? The Secret Agent works best for that.

HOW IT WORKS
Store your credit cards inside the folded leather. Use the elastic strap to secure your cash. Commit the faces of your loved ones to memory and offload any photographs of theirs you used to carry to a fancy wooden box you keep in your bedroom. (You can get one of those here.) Go forth and conquer.

WHAT IT'S MADE OUT OF
Our first round of MVWs are all made from Horween Leather, in Chicago. Two of the variants feature Chromexcel leather, which, according to Horween, is "genuine hot stuffed with our secret blend of natural oils and greases." We're not sure what that means, exactly, but it is probably illegal in Alabama. Still, you cannot argue with the results: This leather is so beautiful you may be moved to hot-stuff it yourself. (Don't do that. It voids the warranty.)

The elastic comes from Italy. The brass comes from a tuba we won in a poker game from a guy named Takehiko who was a mediocre musician and an even worse bluffer. Subsequently, we took three tuba lessons and felt like we were making out with a plumbing system — it was not for us. That's when we decided what we'd really won from Takehiko was the opportunity to develop a streamlined but genuinely useful wallet. Now here we are.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
When you buy a Minimum Viable Wallet, you get three straps, because we know a man gets restless, even with his wallet. Don't sweat your choices too much. They are all wonderful, and if somewhere down the line you find yourself realizing that you're number 4 choice should have been your number 3 choice, relax. Just let us know and we will probably be able to work something out.

NB:
If you are ordering a single MVW, we ship it USPS First Class rather than Priority (our normal shipping method). With USPS First Class, your order will take between 2–5 days for delivery. If you want the MVW in 2 days or less, double down on your order (i.e., buy two or more) or buy some other MB item that you find disagreeable to live without.

Other products you may find disagreeable to live without:

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